Wednesday, April 08, 2009

Breaking news; Heaney toilets used as drug drops.

While wiping my arse yesterday, I found a ziplock bag full of dope in the Heaney toilets. Naturally I hande it in, spoke to the cops etc. 

Ever since it was revealed that the cubicles are used for cottaging they have had the tops and bottoms sawn off their doors. 

What a wonderful den of depravity that place is; a veritable pillar of the community.


Craig said...

It was the toilets in the main library used for cottaging

nice research dumbass

Anonymous said...

ur a prick! cant believe u were smokin dope in the shitter when u were going in for a simple bit of cottaging!

Much love xx

Danny said...

What are you doing there anyway, your not a student.

The buck cat said...

I thought perhaps you and your readers might appreciate this story from the Holyland which happened back in the 1980's. It is a true story.

An elderly lady in Agincourt Avenue was tidying up her bedrooms when she heard the sound of glass breaking downstairs, she looked out the back bedroom window and saw two youths in her back yard trying to break in. She banged at the window and shouted, whereupon the two youths ran off. The lady then telephoned the police.

There were two community police nearby and they were at the woman's door within minutes. As they approached the front door they noticed a large alsation dog lying across the front door step. Unsure how to approach the dog one of the cops drew his baton, leaned across the dog and pressed the doorbell, the woman opened the door, the dog walked in and the officers followed.

The alsation lay down in front of the fire and the officers proceeded to take details and look around etc. Then the dog got up and suddenly evacuated its bowel contents all over the carpet. As the stench was overpowering the cops made their excuses and proceeded to leave the house assuring the woman they would search the area for the wouldbe burglars.

As they were walking down the lady's path she came running after them and said, "Officers, are you not taking your dog with you?"

belfast samizdat said...


I study psychology at Queens.

It was also the Heaney.

Anonymous said...

Ah so ur a scummy student then! Ur the sort of person that gives residents a hard time! Ur responsible for the "riot" on st.paddys day!

Lovely story there about the woman and the dog, poor dog has dodgy bowels!